Twitter in Translation - Vegetarian Edition

[phonon_belt]

As you probably know, Mr. Hirasawa prefers a healthy, vegetarian diet. He tweets about food a lot, too.

First, let's find out WHY he's a vegetarian:

28 Nov 2009:

私の食生活について「健康オタク」「そんなに長生きしたいか？」と言う人が居る。残念ながらハズレ。
私の粗食の理由は３つ。 理由１：私は人を騙すのは好きだけど騙されるのがキライ。騙された結果身体機能の一部を制限されたり、破壊されたくない。 理由２：私の健康が破壊されたら、いったい何人の人が食いっぱぐれる？ 理由３：とにかく肉は不味くて気持ち悪い。食べると疲れるし、吐いてしまう。

There are people who, in response to my eating habits, comment: 'Health nut!' or 'Do you really want to live long so badly?' Unfortunately, they are wrong. There are three reasons for my humble diet. Reason 1: I like deceiving people but hate being deceived myself. I don't want part of my bodily functions to become restricted or destroyed as a consequence of such deception. Reason 2: If I ruin my health, just how many people will be unable to make a living? Reason 3: At any rate, meat is unappetizing and gross. Eating meat makes me tired and makes me throw up.

Those are all good reasons for trying to eat healthy! His distaste for most modern food is clear when he makes comments like this:

11 Nov 2009

つくば山頂展望レストランにてイルカ・ショーを見ながら増粘多糖類、淡白加水分解物、色とりどりの着色料など、ゴージャスな昼食終了。作業再開するので

Completed gorgeous lunch full of thick polysaccharides, protein hydrolysate, multicolored artificial colorings, etc. at a restaurant with a view of Mt. Tsukuba while watching a dolphin show. Now off to resume working.

Yes, that sure sounds unappetizing.

Mr. Hirasawa also has his own terminology for his meals (naturally), such as 高品位粗食, which I will translate as "High-quality Simple Meal."

8 Dec 2009

「高品位粗食-1.0」とはベーグル半周（半分）を基本にしたものである。2.0は無農薬玄米茶碗50～60%盛りを基本とする。これらは「カス」と呼ばれているが、以前はもう少しマシな「鳥のエサ」と呼ばれている時代もあった。 最近では3.0も存在する。タイ王妃が推進するプロジェクトによって生産される（と言われている）タイ9穀玄米を基本とするものが3.0であるので。関心の無い話で恐縮した。

High-quality Simple Meal 1.0 has a semicircular bagel (half a bagel) as its basis. Version 2.0 is typically a bowl filled 50-60% with organic unpolished brown rice. These are called "scum" or "dregs," but there was a period when they were referred to as "bird food," which was a little bit better. Recently a version 3.0 has also appeared. This one is based on brown rice produced in 9 Thai granaries as part of a project promoted by the queen of Thailand (or so I'm told). I am sorry to have troubled you with such uninteresting topics.

So 1.0 = bagel breakfast. 2.0 = rice. 3.0 = Thai rice. Okay. Got it. But wait, there's more:

16 Dec 2009

「粗食1.0-pro　の時間。-pro　が付いた場合、複数の木の実などで出来た忍者の携帯食みたいなオプションが加わる。台湾製である。
Time for Simple Meal 1.0-Pro. When '-pro' is attached, it means there's the additional option of having a snack made from various fruits, something like what ninjas used to carry with them. It's made in Taiwan.

1 Jan 2010

新春の「カス」は無農薬発芽玄米もちをベースにした高品位粗食正月エディッションである。正月なのでだらだらと仕事をしているとあっという間に外が暗くなっている。
My New Year's "dregs" are a High-quality Simple Meal (New Year's Edition), which is mainly organic brown rice mochi cake. Since it's New Year's, it gets dark outside really quickly while I'm making my way through my work.

How do other people react to Mr. Hirasawa's eating habits?

3 Jan 2010

マレーシア人の友達に「あんたと食事しても面白くない」と言われた。正しい意見である。しかし、私と食事することに利益を見出す人々もいる。糖尿病のオッサンと厳しいダイエットと健康食を志すSP-2だ。

"It's no fun eating with you," said a Malaysian friend of mine. That opinion is correct. However, there are some people who find value in having a meal with me: old men with diabetes and SP-2s striving for a wholesome meal while on a strict diet.

Now in case you're not bored yet, here is a short selection of various meal-related tweets:

本日は時間節約のため高品位粗食はなし！つくば山頂サイゼリアで動物抜きパスタを注入済み. 14 Nov 2009
In order to save time today I am not having my High-quality Simple Meal! I have completed my order for animal-free pasta at Tsukuba Mountaintop's Saizeriya [an Italian restaurant chain].

バナナ、キウイ、ブルーベリー、豆乳のフルーツジュースとベーグル1/2個の昼食。 6 Oct 2009
Lunch was half a bagel and some fruit juice made from bananas, kiwis, blueberries, and soy milk

キャベツ、ニンジン、ピーマン、ブロッコリ、ほうれん草、きのこ達、漬物数種の昼食終わり。 10 Oct 2009
Finished lunch of cabbage, carrots, bell peppers, broccoli, spinach, mushrooms, and pickled vegetables.

昼食は無農薬玄米のお茶漬けと漬物なのであった。 12 Oct 2009
Lunch was organic brown rice in tea (ochazuke), with some pickled vegetables.

凍らせた生姜を食べてみた。口に良好であった。 12 Oct 2009
I tried eating some ginger root that I had frozen. My mouth found it satisfactory.

昼食終わり。玄米、味噌汁、漬物、納豆。以上。 28 Oct 2009
Done with lunch. Brown rice, miso soup, pickled vegetables. That is all.

I suspect one reason he loves Thailand is the food, though:

激辛ソムタムと生姜紅茶で炎上する異国のヒラサワ 15 Oct 2009
Hirasawa in a foreign land, ablaze from the super spicy som tam and ginger tea.

豆乳とマンゴスチンの朝食終了 16 Oct 2009
Breakfast of soy milk and mangosteen completed.

Oh man, that sounds delicious...

Incidentally, he also seems to like herbal tisanes, especially ginger tea (which is really yummy and quite invigorating!). Not sure if he drinks regular tea, as I haven't found any tweets about it yet, haha.

本日二杯目の生姜紅茶を飲む時間がついに訪れた。 6 Oct 2009
The time has come for me to drink my second cup of ginger tea today.

とうとう一杯目の生姜紅茶を飲む時が訪れた。7 Oct 2009
At last the time has come for me to drink my first cup of ginger tea.

つくば山頂まだ暴風雨圏内のようだが晴天、風強し。カモミール・ティー終了。 8 Oct 2009
The top of Mt. Tsukuba seems to be within an area of heavy rain and violent wind, but here the sky is clear, the wind is strong. I'm done with my chamomile tea.

告知：本日はまだ一杯しか生姜紅茶を飲んでいない。12 Nov 09
Notice: Today I have had only one cup of ginger tea so far.

At any rate, for a while there he was reporting quite regularly about what he was eating and drinking. Keep this in mind, because in a future post you will see how he then uses this fact to play mindgames with his readers... ;)